i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My vagina just recognized that song.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
