Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
