The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize