No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
