Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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