i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
