i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
