my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Ladies don't puke and tell
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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