so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
