Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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