Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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