Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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