It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
