If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
