theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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