I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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