Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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