we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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