upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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