Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
