its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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