I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
