Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
