I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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