I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
