I just threw up on my dentist
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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