So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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