Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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