I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
