Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
