where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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