My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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