Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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