the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Randomize
