I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
