Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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