I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
