i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
