So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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