Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
