I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
