Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
