My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
