When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Two words: nipple clamps
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