We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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