Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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