After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
