I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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