sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
