Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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