And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
