yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
