So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
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He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
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For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Dick very happy bro
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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