is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
