so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
