he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize