Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
handjob tips. give me some.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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