i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Randomize
