He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
