I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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