This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
