i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
