Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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