i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize