Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
