sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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