Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
tell me about the fingering
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