If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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