Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
This baby is an asshole
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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