Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
